Broken Glass

Whenever I'm thirsty and head to the cupboard, there is a certain type of glass in our collection that I will grab first: the Coca-cola glass. We got them from McDonalds a while back. They came in different colors and we tried to collect them all but ran out of time, so we were left with 1 purple, 1 blue, and 2 brown. For whatever reason, I took a liking to the brown ones and always choose those before the others. I'm sure the other glasses get jealous.

One day when retrieving my favorite glass I lost my grip. I watched in slow motion as it rolled out of my hand and fell downward, first hitting the counter and then smashing onto the kitchen floor. I stood there shocked. My favorite glass! I was ashamed of my clumsiness. A very simple task had gone utterly wrong and left me with a mess everywhere. Not only that, it was my husband who made the first move to start picking up the pieces.

I’m not sure why, but as a Christian, I sometimes feel pressure to have my life all together and to have all the answers. I am supposed to be "perfect" and the moment my human side shines through, that is when the world pounces on me shouting, "See, you're just like the rest of us!" The truth is, they’re right. I never said I was perfect and I never will be this side of heaven. As it says in Romans 3:9-12:

What shall we conclude then? Are we any better? Not at all! We have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin. As it is written:

"There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
All have turned away, they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good, not even one."

On my own, I am a pile of broken glass. No matter how hard I try, I continue to break things, adding more shards to the pile. I am helpless, scattered across the floor unable to hide my brokenness or clean up the mess.

There was a time in history when keeping the letter of the law was the only way to make things right. “But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:21-24).

God made the first move to clean up my mess. He sent Jesus to make things right, taking the penalty of my sin—past, present, and future—upon himself. Just because I believe in Him, doesn’t mean I still don’t break things. I do, but it doesn’t weigh me down. In Christ, I am a new creation covered in grace. He has taken all the broken pieces and put me back together. But it’s not like he just glued them back, there are a few tiny pieces missing and obvious lines where the breaks occurred. No. He has made me brand new, like a shiny, new glass that never fell off the shelf to begin with.

Forgiveness Isn't Easy

So, I received a note today from my father asking me and my siblings to encourage my mother via notes/calls because she is writing papers for school and it is really wearing on her.

My first reaction was, "I totally know how that goes." I can remember the agony of trying to find all my sources, the temptation to change the font so that I could end my misery sooner, and the late nights I sat with my laptop trying to finish my paper which was due the next day. I could understand the frustration and how much a word of encouragement would mean in this situation.

But then I had a second reaction: "You hardly ever called me when I was in college, and now you're asking me to think about your situation, feel bad for you, and try to encourage you? The nerve!"

(Enter appropriate Christian response: Forgiveness)

As I grow older, I find that forgiveness is an essential ingredient in healthy relationships. Forgiveness is a choice. Choose to withhold it, you will lead a miserable life clinging to the wrongs others have done to you, growing ever more bitter as the years go on. In essence, you choose slavery to bitterness. Choose to give it, you open a door to freedom-- freedom to love and enjoy living.

In the case with my parents, I have had to forgive them time and again for the things they have done that hurt me (most things being unintentional). Every time it has been genuine. The thing that is annoying, however, is that even though I've had those moments where it's me and God, my Bible, a piece of paper and a pen, and I've worked through these issues, laid them at the cross and forgiven them, something always happens afterwards that pinches a nerve and reminds me of what was past.

I believe these are character testing experiences in which I get to prove that I am practicing the faith that I preach. Sometimes I pass and sometimes I fail. In this particular instance, I believe I failed. Instead of keeping my mouth shut, I took the opportunity to remind my dad of how neither he nor my mother ever called to encourage me when I was stressed out. This bothered me because I knew I had forgiven them already. Now, I had already made up my mind to make sure I did try to encourage my mom, but the fact that I could not restrain myself of reminding my father of his wrong to me somehow took the true meaning out of doing a good deed for my mother.