Devotion Dilemma

I don’t know how long I’ve been struggling with this one, but it’s been awhile. It seems I can never find time to do my devotions, and when I do find the time, I’m always lacking in consistency. In talking with other Christians, I’ve realized I’m not alone in this. On the one hand, I’m glad I’m not as “abnormal” as I thought I was, but on the other hand, I’m troubled because it seems to me that spending time with God should be of utmost importance in my life. When I was a teenager, free time was more in abundance. Now that I’m an adult, the mundane things of life (work, making dinner, doing laundry, and sleep) seem to trump reading my Bible.

Desire. Do I desire to know God more? Do I desire to be closer to Him? Yes, I think I do. I want to grow in my relationship with Him. I want to mature as a believer.

Dependency. Do I rest full dependency upon God instead of myself? Hmmm…not all the time. If I really understood my daily need for God, my need for Him to guide me in every situation, then I think I would probably be more inclined to stay close to him. Instead, it’s easy for me to find security in myself, my job, my decisions.

Discipline. Do I discipline myself to just do it? Definitely not. There’s no easy way around this one. I know some people talk about having accountability groups to help keep them on the straight and narrow. But even with my accountability group, I find myself coming each with the same answer: Devotions were so-so/non-existent. Excuses, excuses. I really don’t have any good ones except that I’m lazy.

So, I’ve got the desire, but I need to work on the dependency/discipline issue. I can accept this, but now I need to take it to the next level. Pinpointing my roadblocks is the first step. Next comes implementing some realistic plans to overcome these roadblocks and move forward into a deeper relationship with God.